I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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