She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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