I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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