that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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