3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
"it" just moved
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
