I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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