i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
