Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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