cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
