doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i will never coherently bang her
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
