Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
