Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
