I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
