i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
