Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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