I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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