can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
