Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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