considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
