So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
sarcasm needs its own font
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
