the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
