Taylor Swift is so right about you.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
