He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
