I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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