5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
