The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
