Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
