So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
