Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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