Do vagina's smell?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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