I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she smelled like a LAN party
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
