Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
