Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
