You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
