trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
