One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
