I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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