You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
They have beer where we have blood.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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