We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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