I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
