im six kinds of drunk right now
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
did you just send me my own nude
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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