Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
