Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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