Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
