Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
