my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
