so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
