Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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