Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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