You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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