Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
